You know these couples all too well the ones that get comments like “you guys make me sick, get a room why are you always so happy, or my god do you guys ever fight” they seem to be totally content and in love with each other even if they have been together for 10, 20, 30 or over 40 years! They are the ones that repeatedly get asked the question “whats your secret”. I don’t really think that it’s a secret at all, these couples openly express themselves in front of others all the time so its not a matter of being a secret, it’s about the things that these couples do with and for each other, “we can all learn from them.” So what are some of the key ingredients to the recipe of soul mates? Here are the top 10 that I have come across throughout my life from my own personal experience as well as other like minded couples:
- They communicate regularly and enjoy doing so, they are fully engaged in their conversation and just seem to be able to talk for hours about anything and everything, they unplug from everything else around them and focus on each other
- They enjoy each others company and miss each other when they are apart. When this couple is together everything just seems right, there is a sense of love, comfort, security and happiness. When they are apart there is a feeling of incompleteness and they wish their partner was there with them to share in their experiences. There is a longing, a countdown of time of when they will be together again.
- Soul mates seem to have bond on the energy level, and it is typically very evident to both parties early on in the relationship. It is usually described as a feeling that this person is almost a part of you in some mysterious way “Do not confuse this with infatuation, where you feel like you need the person to continue living, so to speak”. You feel like this person adds profoundly to the quality of your life and you want to share important moments with him/her, as soul mates always share everything.
- They accept each other for who they are and love them for it. I can say with certainty that most of us have gone through the typical relationship scenario of meeting someone and everything seems great in the beginning of the relationship and then after a while one or both parties are doing everything they can to change the other person “their friends, their clothes, who they spend their time with, what they like to eat, etc…..” you know what I’m talking about. Soul mates accept each other for who they are and don’t waste time trying to mold them into what they think they should be, they typically encourage each other not to change because they love them just the way they are.
- They show affection toward one another. They hold hands when they walk, they hug often, they caress each other and they kiss in public like the whole world around them has disappeared. They tell each other “I Love You” multiple times a day. When they part from work, when they talk on the phone, when they get home, when they go to bed at night. Its not just words, “they mean it.”
- They are respectful of each other even when they argue and even though they do not always agree they don’t want to be in conflict with anyone else other than their partner. Whether you talk it out and listen to one another, or take a breather and then come back and talk, communicating is extremely important to having a long lasting solid relationship. So many times we have heard someone say their mate never listens or they barely talk, and they never say it with a smile on their face.
- They have very similar values, goals and views of the world. They may not always share all the same interests, but usually do on the most important ones. Even if you have different goals, supporting one another in what each one wants to do is a must. Encouraging and boosting one another’s confidence is part of loving someone. Remember, this is the person we spend most of our time with. You become what you surround yourself with and I have seen couples destroy each other’s good energy as well as we have seen them lift each other up.
- They don’t forget about the things they did when they first met. No matter how many years pass he or she is still waking up with sticky notes on the fridge that say I love you, unexpected flowers, the look into each others eyes with the whisper that you are beautiful. Just because you are comfortably happy does not mean you should stop going on dates or surprising one another with their favorite meal or tickets to a special event, a picnic at the beach, or a drive somewhere you’ve never been, etc… I can’t tell you how many times a boy or girl friend has confided in us that they never do anything anymore, unplugging from the world and focusing on one another is crucial to being happy.
- They are the best of friends, this is why some people at first glance will assume they are family members or just great friends because they exude happiness in a way that exceeds most newlyweds even after years of being together. This is the person you think of being with when you want to go out, when you go away, when you do anything at all. We know when we are apart, we always wish we were there together to experience every little thing in the moment.
- Let’s not forget one very important part of love, that is being completely attracted to one another. We don’t care what people say when they say it shouldn’t be at the top of the list. Sometimes these are the people that usually need to work in this area of their relationship. There should never be room for wandering eyes in a relationship when you have all you want in a mate. Does it take a little effort at times, of course! Surprises are super exciting and fun, you have to keep it fully alive! Know what your other half loves and compromise to keep each other happy.