This is one dilemma I hear so many people go through. I get asked this a lot, and I can totally understand why. It is a total roller coaster ride when you fall so hard for someone. You melt at the thought of them, at the site of them, at the feel of them, and every waking moment they take over your world. You want your heart to lead you and it feels so good. So why not? That feeling your heart gives you is a very beautiful feeling. It is the indication your souls have connected, the chemistry is there, and it is possible you have found love.
The problem comes when your head and your heart are sending you mixed signals. Your head might be saying “slow down” “don’t be so forward” “let them call you” “play hard to get” “you’re going to get hurt” and of course that self talk, or doubt will get in the way of things. BUT it’s not always a bad thing. Sometimes that head of yours is talking to you for a good reason. Then there are those other times you are just doubting something without knowing, something that could be so great, and then you are totally self sabotaging.
So you see, this could work out for or against you. Some may say to ignore those thoughts, or ignore those feelings. Who is anyone to tell you what to do, when you are the only one that knows what’s going on inside? Advice is absolutely great, as I am doing just that right now, but make sure it makes sense to you. People sometimes don’t have their own head on straight so they will give you their idea of great advice, beware! You have to really take the time to listen to both your heart and mind and use those feelings and thoughts to get the answers you are looking for.
These are some indicators you should be very open to:
*IF and only IF there is good concrete reason to believe you should doubt that new found love, then your head is one to have a good conversation with. Think about it…it will save you much time and heartache if you use what you know to make the decision to move forward or not. For example, if you know this person has a track record of abuse on his exes, well then, do you go with your heart or with what you know in your head? You get what I mean?
*If it’s your head telling you that you have been hurt before, and you shouldn’t go there again, because you will get hurt and it always ends up the same…it’s the craziest thoughts ever!! There comes a time for everyone to meet that special someone. I met mine when I had given up on the dating world, no joke, I had made the decision to just focus on my career and forget men for awhile, and that’s when it happened to me. When it’s your time, it’s your time, period! Don’t fight it, but don’t force it either, by saying that, I mean DON’T SETTLE! Because you will just be going down a road we could write a whole blog about.
*If love gets you by surprise, stops you in your tracks, in the middle of a busy life and new plans for your future, don’t freak out, embrace it. I know it might sound too easy to do, but it is!! Sometimes God will be working behind the scenes, planning some great things for you, and you will be very surprised in an instant. If you knew what to expect, wouldn’t life be boring? So when it happens, go with your gut and if it’s meant to be, that love will fit perfectly with your other life plans. If not, then you will know in due time. It’s life.
*I say if it feels good, do it, go for it, life is an adventure! You never know what will come out of it. People will come in and out of your life for different reasons, whether they stay or not, but ALWAYS for a reason, pay attention to that, and evenn write it down if you can, I love to do that. We always connect the dots, it’s really amazing actually when you really think about it. You might say “well I don’t want to get hurt” well really if we all had a perfect life with no downs just ups, how would we know the opposite of each? How would we learn? How would we appreciate? How would we know all the feelings we love and the ones we don’t? In every aspect of life you must know this is what it is. That is the definition of LOVING AND LIVING. My look on it is if you want to experience something so amazing, you will experience its counter parts, it’s inevitable, but well worth every second of it!